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One of the strange things about parenting is how many milestones nobody really warns you about. The first day of school? You expect that. The first time they ride a bike? Sure. Even the first argument about bedtime eventually comes along.

But the first time your child comes home casually dropping a word you absolutely did not teach them? That one can catch you completely off guard.

For a lot of dads, it goes something like this. You’re sitting at the dinner table or driving home from school and suddenly a perfectly innocent sentence includes a word that makes you choke on your tea.

“Where on earth did you hear that?”

The answer, nine times out of ten, is the same: school.

It’s one of those moments when you realise your child is now fully exposed to the outside world, with all the good and bad that comes with it.

And while it might feel alarming at first, it’s actually a very normal part of growing up.

Why Kids Pick Up Swearing So Quickly

Children are extremely good at picking up language. Much better than adults, in fact.

That’s partly because they’re constantly listening and copying the people around them. Language is how kids figure out the world, so anything that gets a reaction tends to stick.

Swear words tick all the boxes.

• They’re emotional.
• They’re memorable.
• And most importantly, they cause a reaction.

Even if a child hears the word just once, they often notice the tone and the response around it. If another kid says something and everyone laughs or gasps, that word suddenly becomes very interesting.

Schools are obviously full of different children from different homes, and some kids will have heard language that others haven’t. Once a few words start circulating around the playground, they spread quickly.

It’s not usually about being naughty. More often it’s curiosity and experimentation.

Kids are trying out new words to see what they mean and what effect they have.

The Playground Language Exchange

One thing most parents eventually realise is that schools are basically giant language laboratories.

Every playground has that one kid who seems to know words nobody else has heard yet. They pass them on to friends, who pass them on again, and suddenly the entire class is experimenting with a brand new piece of vocabulary.

Most of the time, the kids don’t even fully understand what they’re saying.

They just know it sounds grown-up or rebellious.

I remember hearing my own child confidently repeat a word they’d clearly picked up from somewhere. When I asked what they thought it meant, the answer was essentially a shrug followed by “I don’t know… it’s just a word.”

That’s very typical.

Swearing, at least in the early stages, is usually more about curiosity than defiance.

Why Kids Often Test It At Home

Once a child learns a new swear word, there’s a good chance it will eventually be tested out at home.

Parents are the safest audience for experimentation.

Kids are trying to figure out the rules of language, and that includes working out which words are acceptable and which ones cross a line.

Sometimes it slips out accidentally. Other times it’s a deliberate test.

You’ll see the look on their face when they say it. That tiny pause afterwards where they’re waiting to see how you react.

And that reaction matters more than you might think.

The Worst Thing You Can Do

It’s very tempting to react dramatically when you hear your child swear for the first time.

Shouting, overreacting, or turning it into a huge confrontation is understandable. After all, nobody wants their child wandering around the playground sounding like a drunken football fan.

But big reactions can sometimes backfire.

Remember that kids often repeat words precisely because they get attention. If a particular word causes an explosion at the dinner table, it instantly becomes more interesting.

That doesn’t mean you ignore it. But it does mean staying calm helps.

A steady response usually teaches the lesson far more effectively than a dramatic one.

Start With A Simple Explanation

One of the most useful things you can do is simply explain that some words are considered rude.

Children don’t automatically understand the social rules around language. They need those rules explained in clear, simple terms.

Something along the lines of:

“That word is something some adults say when they’re angry, but it’s not a word children should use.”

You don’t need to deliver a lecture about morality or punishment. Most of the time, a calm explanation is enough for younger kids.

They’re often surprised to learn that the word carries that kind of weight.

Help Them Understand Context

As children get older, the conversation can become a little more nuanced.

The truth is that swearing does exist in the adult world. Kids hear it in films, on television, in sports stadiums, and sometimes from grown-ups themselves.

Pretending it never exists usually doesn’t work.

Instead, it can help to explain that certain words are considered inappropriate in certain places.

School, for example, has rules about language because it needs to be a respectful environment for everyone.

This approach teaches something far more valuable than just “don’t say that word”.

It teaches social awareness.

Look At Your Own Language Too

This is the slightly uncomfortable part for many dads.

Kids are incredibly good at noticing what we say, not just what we tell them to say.

If we regularly shout colourful language at the television during a football match, it shouldn’t come as a huge surprise when those same words appear a few weeks later in the playground.

That doesn’t mean parents have to speak like Victorian schoolteachers all the time.

But it’s worth remembering that children absorb far more than we realise.

Sometimes the easiest way to shape their language is to quietly adjust our own.

What Schools Usually Do About It

Most schools deal with swearing in fairly predictable ways.

Teachers understand that children often repeat words without fully understanding them. The usual response is a reminder about school rules and, if it continues, a conversation about respectful language.

In more serious cases, schools may involve parents, particularly if the language is directed at other children or staff.

But the vast majority of playground swearing incidents are minor and short-lived.

Kids experiment with words, realise they get into trouble for them, and eventually move on.

A Phase Most Kids Grow Out Of

For many families, the swearing phase turns out to be brief.

Once children understand that certain words aren’t acceptable at school or at home, they usually drop them pretty quickly.

The novelty wears off.

Something else becomes the new playground trend instead.

Looking back, most dads end up realising that the first swear word wasn’t a sign of terrible behaviour or bad influences. It was simply another step in their child figuring out language, boundaries, and the social rules of the world around them.

And if you handle it calmly, with a bit of explanation and a bit of patience, it usually becomes just another funny parenting memory.

One day you’ll probably even laugh about it.

Preferably not while your child is within earshot.

It started with one of those brown envelopes that make your stomach drop before you’ve even opened them. Inside was a Fixed Penalty Notice for taking my child out of school during term time. We’d gone away for a few days in late June — a short family break that worked around my job, not the school calendar. Flights were half the price, hotels actually had space, and we hadn’t managed a proper holiday in two years.

When I asked the school in advance, they said no: term-time holidays aren’t authorised unless there are exceptional circumstances. Apparently, saving money and sanity doesn’t count. So the absence went down as unauthorised, and a few weeks later, the fine landed — £80 if paid within 21 days, £160 if left until 28. Two parents, two fines, because that’s how the rules work now under England’s national framework introduced in August 2024.

No Appeal, No Nonsense

The first surprise was learning there’s no formal appeal process. None.

You can’t fill in a form and plead your case like with a parking ticket. The only thing you can do is write to the headteacher or the local authority and ask for the notice to be withdrawn — but they’ll only do that if it was issued in error.

The Department for Education’s own guidance spells this out: no right of appeal, just the option to ask nicely if they’ve made a mistake.

Why The Fine Lands In The First Place

Since August 2024, schools in England are expected to consider a penalty notice when a child racks up 10 unauthorised sessions (that’s five full school days).

The headteacher decides whether an absence is authorised — and if it isn’t, the local authority can issue the fine. Each parent can get up to two fines per child in any three-year period. After that, it skips straight to prosecution.

If you want to challenge this, there are several steps to take.

Step One: Check The Paperwork

The first thing I did was check the basics — names, dates, the amount, the period of absence. Councils have to follow the national template now, but human error still happens. If any of that’s wrong, you’ve got grounds to ask for the notice to be withdrawn.

Then I checked the school’s attendance policy and the register codes. Every absence gets one of those little letters you see on reports — and they’re nationally standardised. If it’s coded as unauthorised, that’s what triggers the fine.

Step Two: Make Your Case (Politely)

Because there’s no official appeal, the next move is to make representations. That’s council-speak for writing to the school and explaining why you think they’ve got it wrong. Maybe the absence should’ve been authorised. Maybe there was a medical note. Maybe it was a genuine administrative error.

If you’ve got proof, attach it. The council can withdraw a notice if:

• It was issued to the wrong person
• It was issued outside the rules
• Or no offence was actually committed

That’s it. Feeling hard done by doesn’t count.

Step Three: Decide Whether To Pay

If the school and council stick to their guns, you’re left with two choices: pay within 21 days (£80) or within 28 days (£160). If you still don’t, the local authority must either withdraw the notice or prosecute you under section 444 of the Education Act 1996 for failing to ensure regular attendance.

Prosecution sounds dramatic, but it happens. The court can impose a bigger fine and costs — and “regular attendance” has been legally defined by the Supreme Court as meaning “in accordance with the school’s rules.” In other words, if the school said no, you’re on thin ice.

Step Four: Court — If You Really Push It

If it goes to court, there are only a few legal defences. You’d have to show that the absence was authorised, the child was ill or there was an unavoidable cause, or it was a day of religious observance. Beyond that, it’s down to the magistrates.

What I Actually Did

I gathered every bit of evidence I had — emails to the school, travel details, screenshots — and sent a polite, factual letter asking for the absence to be reconsidered. I copied in the local authority, because that’s who actually issues the fine.

They reviewed it and, in my case, stood by the original decision. So I paid within the 21-day window to stop it doubling. Annoying? Yes. But that’s the only real way to draw a line under it.

To be fair I was bang to rights, but I thought it was worth a try. It wasn’t.

My Advice to Other Parents

Challenging a school fine isn’t like arguing over a parking ticket. The system is designed to be straightforward and unforgiving — and, to be fair, consistent across the country.

In other words, if you know you are guilty, just pay the fine. You won’t win an appeal if you can’t prove the fine is unfair, you will just cause yourself stress, extra work, and potentially further costs.

Key things to remember:

1. Don’t ignore it. Those deadlines matter.
2. Don’t assume you can appeal. You can’t — only request withdrawal if it was issued wrongly.
3. Keep everything in writing. If it escalates, you’ll need a paper trail.
4. If you end up in court, get advice early. It’s not a formality — it’s a criminal offence under section 444.

So yes, you can question a fine. But unless there’s a clear error or you’ve got rock-solid proof that the absence should’ve been authorised, you’ll probably just end up paying it.

And maybe, next time, thinking twice before hitting “book” on that off-peak deal. Or at least factoring in the cost of the inevitable fine!

I’ve spent countless hours in the garden with my little ones, and I can tell you there’s something truly magical about watching your children grow something they can eat. It’s not just about the vegetables; it’s about the memories, the learning, and the joy on their faces when they pull up their first carrot or bite into a sun-warmed tomato. If you’re thinking about starting a vegetable garden with your kids, you’re in for a treat. Let me share some of my favourite easy-to-grow vegetables that have been a hit with my children over the years.

Why Grow Vegetables with Your Kids?

Before we dig into the specifics, let’s talk about why growing vegetables with your children is such a brilliant idea. For starters, it’s a fantastic way to get them excited about eating their greens (and reds, and yellows!). There’s something about planting a seed, caring for it, and watching it grow that creates a connection to food that you just can’t get from a supermarket shelf.

It’s also a wonderful learning experience. My kids have picked up so much about biology, weather, and even patience through our gardening adventures. Plus, it’s a great way to spend quality time together outdoors, away from screens and devices.

When the weather allows, of course…

Choosing the Right Vegetables

When it comes to gardening with kids, not all vegetables are created equal. You want to choose plants that are:

1. Easy to grow
2. Quick to produce results
3. Fun to harvest
4. Tasty to eat

With these criteria in mind, let’s explore some of the best vegetables to grow with your little ones.

Tomatoes

Tomatoes are a brilliant choice. They’re relatively easy to grow, produce fruit fairly quickly, and come in a variety of colours and sizes that children find fascinating.

In my experience, cherry tomatoes are the absolute winners. They’re sweet, easy to pop in your mouth, and produce fruit abundantly. My kids love wandering through the garden, plucking these little red (or yellow!) gems straight from the vine.

Growing Tips

• Start seeds indoors about 6-8 weeks before the last frost date.
• Once seedlings are about 15cm tall, transplant them to larger pots or into the garden.
• Choose a sunny spot – tomatoes love warmth and light.
• Water regularly and consistently to prevent splitting.

We’ve had great success with ‘Sungold’ tomatoes, a variety that produces incredibly sweet yellow cherry tomatoes. ‘Tumbling Tom’ is another favourite, perfect for hanging baskets if you’re short on space.

One thing worth bearing in mind with tomatoes especially: slugs and aphids love them just as much as kids do. If you’re growing with little ones, make sure any products you use are family-safe pest control options — there are plenty of non-toxic solutions such as pesticide-free sprays that won’t put curious hands at risk.

Potatoes

If you want to see real excitement in your kids’ eyes, grow potatoes. There’s something about digging for these underground treasures that never gets old.

Growing Tips

• Start with seed potatoes, which you can usually find at garden centres.
• Plant them in early spring for a summer harvest.
• As the plants grow, keep piling soil or straw around the stems (this is called ‘earthing up’).
• When the plants start to yellow and die back, it’s time to dig!

Tell your children that potatoes are actually the swollen ends of underground stems, not roots. It’s a fun bit of plant biology they can impress their friends with.

Beans

Beans are another vegetable that seems to captivate children’s imaginations. Maybe it’s the Jack and the Beanstalk connection, or perhaps it’s just how quickly they grow.

We’ve had success with both runner beans and French beans. Runner beans tend to grow taller and produce larger pods, while French beans are often more prolific and come in fun colours like purple.

Growing Tips

• Sow seeds directly into the ground after the last frost.
• Provide support for climbing varieties – a teepee of bamboo canes works well.
• Pick regularly to encourage more production.

Get your kids to check the plants daily and measure how much they’ve grown. It’s a great way to keep them engaged in the process.

Carrots

Carrots are a bit more challenging to grow, but the payoff is worth it. The anticipation of pulling them up to see how big they’ve grown is unbeatable.

Growing Tips

• Sow seeds directly into the ground or deep containers.
• Keep the soil moist until seeds germinate.
• Thin seedlings to about 5cm apart when they’re large enough to handle.

For extra fun, try growing rainbow carrots – varieties like ‘Purple Haze’ or ‘Yellowstone’ alongside traditional orange ones. It’s a great way to show kids that vegetables come in all colours.

Lettuce

Lettuce is perfect for impatient little gardeners. It grows quickly and can be harvested within a few weeks of planting.

Growing Tips

• Sow seeds directly into the ground or containers.
• For a continuous harvest, sow a few seeds every couple of weeks.
• Some varieties can be harvested leaf by leaf, allowing for multiple harvests from the same plant.

Challenge your kids to create their own salad mix by growing different varieties of lettuce and other salad leaves.

Peas

Peas are another vegetable that kids tend to love, both for growing and eating. They’re sweet, fun to shell, and grow vertically, saving space in the garden.

Growing Tips

• Sow directly into the ground in early spring.
• Provide support for the plants to climb.
• Harvest regularly to encourage more pods to form.

Peas are one of the oldest cultivated crops in the world. Archaeologists have found peas in ancient Egyptian tombs. That little factoid will impress you kids’ teachers.

Cucumbers

Cucumbers are a hit with most kids, and they’re relatively easy to grow. Plus, they’re refreshing on a hot summer day.

Growing Tips

• Start seeds indoors about 3-4 weeks before the last frost date.
• Transplant seedlings to the garden when they have a few true leaves.
• Provide support for climbing varieties.

Try growing lemon cucumbers – they’re round and yellow, looking a bit like lemons. Kids get a kick out of their unusual appearance.

Radishes

If you want to see results fast, radishes are the way to go. They can be ready to harvest in as little as 3-4 weeks from sowing.

Growing Tips

• Sow seeds directly into the ground or containers.
• Keep the soil moist but not waterlogged.
• Harvest when the roots are about 2.5cm in diameter.

Use radishes to teach kids about the parts of a plant. They can see the leaves above ground and the root below.

Tips for Success

To wrap up, here are some general tips to make your vegetable gardening adventure with kids a success:

1. Start small – it’s better to have a few thriving plants than a large, overwhelming garden.
2. Let your kids choose what to grow – they’ll be more invested if they have a say.
3. Make it fun – use colourful plant markers, create themes (like a pizza garden), or have competitions.
4. Be patient – things might not always go to plan, but that’s part of the learning experience.
5. Celebrate the harvest – cook together using your home-grown produce.

Remember, the goal isn’t just to grow vegetables, but to grow little gardeners. Enjoy the process, and embrace the mess.

There aren’t many situations where you’ll find a group of grown men sat in a pub, pint in one hand, carefully trying to master a braid.

But that’s exactly what happened earlier this month at the Lucky Saint pub in London, where “Pints and Ponytails” brought together a group of dads for a slightly unusual kind of evening.

The idea was simple enough. Learn how to do your daughter’s hair. The setting made it a lot more interesting.

Seriously though, what a brilliant idea.

What The Event Actually Was

“Pints and Ponytails” was a small workshop organised by the Secret Life of Dads community, aimed at helping fathers get to grips with basic hair styling.

We’re not talking about anything over the top. This was about the fundamentals. Ponytails, plaits, and the sort of things that actually come up on a normal school morning.

Around 30 to 40 dads turned up, and instead of practising on their kids (which probably wouldn’t have gone well), they worked on mannequin heads laid out across pub tables. There was guidance from people who knew what they were doing, but the whole thing stayed relaxed and informal.

No pressure. No awkward classroom feel. Just dads having a go. And a pint. Or maybe two.

More Important Than It Seems

It’s easy to look at something like this and think it’s just a bit of fun. And it is. But there’s a reason it struck a chord.

Hair is one of those everyday parenting jobs that a lot of dads just never really learn. Not because they don’t want to, but because it’s always been one of those things someone else handled.

Then suddenly you’re the one doing the school run, or getting them ready in the morning, and you realise you’re completely winging it.

And kids notice. Not in a critical way, but in the small details. Whether you can do their hair properly. Whether you take the time to try. Whether you’re confident doing it.

That’s where something like this comes in. It takes a small gap and actually does something about it. It’s important and has a deeper meaning than it seems on the surface.

It Didn’t Take Itself Too Seriously

What makes this work isn’t just the idea. It’s how it was done.

Putting it in a pub changes everything. It immediately makes it feel more accessible, less like you’re signing up for a parenting class and more like you’re just going out for a pint and picking something up along the way.

You can imagine the mix of reactions on the night. A few dads quietly concentrating, some clearly out of their depth, others getting the hang of it quicker than expected. Probably a fair bit of trial and error.

That’s exactly how it should be.

Because the goal isn’t perfection. It’s just getting better than you were before. And doing so in a way that is accessible and low presure.

It Went Viral and I Hope It Comes Back

Clips from the event ended up doing the rounds online, and people loved it. Not just because it’s a slightly funny visual — dads seriously focused on mannequin heads in a pub — but because it feels genuine.

There’s no big message being forced. It’s just a group of dads trying to improve at something that matters to their kids, and that’s something a lot of people can relate to straight away.

It’s also the sort of thing most of us would probably give a go. Not because anyone expects to walk out suddenly mastering complicated styles, but because it takes away that awkward starting point. Learning something like this is a lot easier when someone shows you properly, rather than guessing your way through it at home.

Even picking up one or two basics would make a difference. A ponytail that actually looks neat, a plait that holds together — small wins, but ones that matter more than you’d think.

The event itself has already been and gone, but it doesn’t feel like a one-off idea. If anything, it’s the kind of thing that could easily pop up again, whether in the same place or somewhere else entirely. They have already done one follow up so another may well come up.

And if it does, it’s well worth keeping an eye on.

Because a lot of modern fatherhood isn’t about big gestures or standout moments. It’s about showing up for the everyday stuff — even the bits you’re not naturally good at — and getting a little bit better at them over time.

The other day I found myself half-watching what my child was scrolling through. Not in a heavy-handed “what are you looking at?” kind of way—more just being nearby while the videos flicked past.

You know the sort. Fast, loud, over in seconds. Someone shouting, someone reacting, someone being made the centre of a joke they didn’t sign up for.

After a few minutes, it started to feel uncomfortable. Not because any one video crossed a line on its own, but because of the pattern. People weren’t really people in these clips. They were props. Obstacles. Punchlines. Their reactions were the content, and their feelings didn’t seem to get a second thought.

That’s the bit that stuck with me, because this isn’t just entertainment our kids are watching—it’s a steady stream of examples showing them what’s normal, what’s funny, and what gets rewarded.

I think it is warping our children’s idea of what is right and wrong.

The New Rules Social Media Rewards

Spend any time watching short-form content and certain patterns become obvious. The clips that travel furthest tend to revolve around getting a reaction, usually by putting someone else in an awkward, uncomfortable, or outright unfair situation.

What’s missing is just as important as what’s there. There’s rarely any pause to consider how it felt for the person on the receiving end, and almost never any sense of what happened afterwards. The reaction is the product, and everything else is irrelevant.

Over time, that shifts the emphasis away from empathy and towards outcome.

• Did it get a laugh?
• Did it get shared?
• Then it worked.

That’s the only metric that seems to matter.

And because everyone is chasing that same outcome, the content naturally escalates. Each video has to go a bit further than the last to stand out—louder, more intrusive, more outrageous. It creates a cycle where other people are increasingly treated as content rather than individuals, and where pushing boundaries becomes part of the process rather than something to question.

When Attention Becomes The Goal

Kids aren’t being explicitly told to behave like this, but they are constantly seeing what gets rewarded. The message isn’t spoken, but it’s clear enough: attention equals success. Not respect, not kindness, not even creativity in the traditional sense—just visibility.

The problem is that the consequences rarely appear alongside the content. What they see is the action and the reaction, followed by likes, shares, and comments. They don’t see the fallout, the conversations off-camera, or the longer-term impact on the people involved. It creates a distorted version of reality where the benefits are immediate and visible, and the downsides are either hidden or delayed.

That quietly reshapes how behaviour is judged. Instead of asking “is this right?”, the question becomes “does this work?” And in that environment, going too far doesn’t necessarily feel like a mistake. It can start to feel like a strategy.

A Real Example Of How That Plays Out

You don’t have to look far to see how this dynamic plays out in real life.

Take Mizzy, who built a following in 2023 by pushing well past what most people would consider acceptable. His videos included walking into strangers’ homes uninvited while families were inside, running off with an elderly woman’s dog, asking random people if they “want to die”, and harassing members of the public for a reaction.

It worked. The more extreme the behaviour, the more attention it got—something he openly acknowledged, saying that “controversy… is the best way to blow up on social media.”

There was backlash, arrests, and eventually a criminal behaviour order restricting what he could do. For a while, it looked like that might force a change.

After serving time, he spoke openly about turning things around. He became a father, said it had changed his outlook, and talked about wanting a normal life—working in construction, going back to college, and staying away from the kind of content that got him into trouble in the first place.

But that’s where the bigger issue comes in.

Because when attention is tied so strongly to extreme behaviour, stepping away from it often means stepping away from visibility altogether. And over time, that pull back towards what worked before becomes hard to ignore.

More recently, similar patterns have started to reappear from Mizzy. Causing disruption in public, cycling through shops, pulling wheelies around people, all designed to get a reaction.

That’s not just about one person making the same mistake twice. It’s about how difficult it is to walk away from a system that rewards the very behaviour you’re trying to leave behind.

The Bit That Should Worry Us As Parents

The concern isn’t that every child watching this is going to copy it directly. Most won’t. The issue is more subtle than that. It’s about what repeated exposure does to their sense of what’s normal.

When the same patterns show up again and again—people being treated as props, boundaries being pushed for laughs, reactions being valued over feelings—it starts to shape expectations. Not in a dramatic way, but gradually. Kids begin to absorb the idea that other people’s discomfort isn’t necessarily a problem if it leads to attention, or that being noticed matters more than being considerate.

That doesn’t mean they suddenly lose their sense of right and wrong entirely, but it can blur the edges. It can make certain behaviours feel less serious than they are, or make empathy feel less central than it should be. And because it’s happening in the background, it often goes unnoticed until it shows up somewhere else.

Where That Leaves Us As Parents

There isn’t a simple fix for any of this. Social media isn’t going anywhere, and trying to block it out entirely isn’t realistic for most families. But there is a difference between letting it run unchecked and helping kids make sense of what they’re seeing.

That starts with paying attention to the content itself, not just the screen time. Watching with them occasionally, noticing what gets a reaction, and using those moments as a way into a conversation rather than a lecture. Simple questions tend to go further than rules.

Asking questions:

• “Do you think that person was actually okay with that?”
• “Would it still be funny if it happened to you?”
• “Why do you think that got so many views?”

This can help shift the focus back towards empathy.

It also helps to draw a clear line between attention and respect. Social media often blurs the two, but they’re not the same thing. Someone can be widely seen without being widely respected, and understanding that difference is important. Because in the end, the issue isn’t just what our kids are watching. It’s what they’re learning from it.

The internet might not be deliberately teaching them values, but it is showing them, over and over again, what gets rewarded. And if the loudest examples are the ones that ignore boundaries or treat people like props, then it’s up to us to make sure those messages don’t go unchallenged.